Before and after
Life is divided into before and after.For me it used to be before and after the war - Bosnian war of early 1990's that is. The war came in suddenly and stole all I called my way of life. Since then the before and after line moved a couple of times - it became about before and after life in Australia, then about before and after loving the Optimist.
Now it is all about before and after infertility. I don't know when infertility became the new line. The realisation downed me one day while standing in our kitchen and staring at the fridge covered in cards.
The card with two fish in sepia reminds me of early days with the Optimist. Days when we spent hours in inner city cafes planning adventures - India, Libya, Iran, Bosnia were on our maps. We always had a trip up our sleeve. Then there are cards wishing us well on our wedding day and cards wishing us well on our marriage anniversaries.
The 'after' cards include calendar cut outs turned into medical charts - cycle dates, drug doses, test results and appointments are all neatly recorded. Next to the chart is a card with DrHope's numbers.
There used to be cards announcing births of friends' babies but these are no longer making it onto our fridge door.
The fridge hides multiple boxes of drugs. Optimist has become an expert at injecting me. Injections are our little ritual - like an evening cup of tea.
In the freezer is our wedding cake - waiting the birth of our first child. Made by Optimist's grandmother, moved interstate, stored with friends while we worked overseas and saved a couple of times from a failing fridge.
In a couple of weeks we move again - the drugs and the cake are moving with us.
posted by snowhite @ 3:46 PM
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