Anniversary
Today is our third wedding anniversary.
Mr Optimist came home with a huge bunch of flowers and a beautiful card.
We had some home-made pumpkin soup and drove to the airport through the rain. Had one of those conversations that you can only have when it is raining (don't know what it is about rain - it clouds the windows but clears the mind). We held hands and agreed to keep going with this AC journey - no matter how many cycles it takes. He sqeezed my knee and reminded me that we will have to take a break occasionaly and hide in some far-away place just for a little while. We laughed - we have a history of hiding on deserted islands (that is where he proposed).
Drive was too short. We hugged, sqeezed breath out of each other and I waved him away through the rain.
It will be long two weeks without him. I miss him already.
Not Pregnant
I woke up last night and stared into the darkness, tears running down my face. I knew, I felt that I was not pregnant.
Nothing happened - there was no blood, no blood test, no HPT and yet I knew.
Mr Optimist is away and still does not know. Samsi knew - she licked my tears and snuggled in the crook of my arm.
Father's day
Tomorrow is father's day - families will be out, strollers will clogg the footpaths and on Monday desks will be covered in colourful cards. I feel sad that Mr Optimist will be left out just the way I am left out on Mother's day. It reminds me of being the only one not picked to play for the school team, the only one left standing on the field.
So, what should I do for Mr Optimist?
For a while I was thinking: 'Nothing - just ignore the day and it will go away'. But then that is not fair - most other men will get presents and have a day out so why should Mr Optimist miss out? Why punish him some more?
But what to do, what to do? The next thought that came to me was to give him a framed picture of Samsi (our cat) and I. Maybe he will put it on his desk... Then I felt another pang of pain - put it on the desk, just like other men put pictures of their children?
I mulled over what to do for a bit longer.
It will be a dinner out and a photo of Samsi and I. For better or worse, that is our family for now - and I am proud of us, just as we are!
Tagged!
OK, so I have been tagged:
5 items in my fridge:
1. Assortment of IVF-related drugs
2. Great pasta sauce
3. Lots of brown paper bags (organic fruit & veg)
4. Cat food
5. Cherry jam (lots of whole cherries!)
5 items in my closet:
1. Bits of ski gear (the rest is in out attick)
2. Lots of scarfs
3. Small bottle of rose water
4. Lots of clothes made by my mum
5. Cat toys (secret stash)
5 items in my car:
1. Mints of some sort
2. Orange peel
3. Pickink rug
4. A set of tools
5. Snow chains
5 items in my handbag:
1. Diary
2. Pencil case
3. Small perfume bottle
4. Chap-stick
5. Some sort of notes or a revison book (Med related)
